Mathew’s Friends and Teachers
Tom Sorenson, Mathew’s tennis coach. “Dear Mathai, I’m grieving. My entire household is upset and grieving. Even though my wife and daughter have not met you or your family, they know all of you from my stories. They know that I have held you in the highest regard for a number of years and have so much enjoyed our philosophical discussions as well as your gentle, benign, sense of humor. They also know how much I’ve enjoyed my time with Mathew – as likeable a boy as I’ve ever met. My time with Anna and Laine has been limited, but I’ve known how much all of you loved each other. The bond between the two was palpable when Anna brought Laine to Mathew’s lessons. We can only begin to feel the suffering that you are trying to endure. Please know that our family loves your family. As soon as Matthew is ready, I want to resume our Sunday morning tennis sessions.”
Melinda Gonzales, school counselor at Harker. “Dear Mathai & Anna, I just want to let you know that Mathew’s day went very well. I met with him during morning break and we ended up talking for quite a while. Foremost, he said he was pleased with the support coming from his peers and the level of attention to him – not too much but just enough to make him feel good about being back in school. I was so very impressed with Mathew’s maturity and clarity and self-awareness. He was so eloquent and expressive and he shared quite a bit about how he is feeling and what he is thinking. He shared his dreams with me and his concerns about everything from school & grades to how he should be feeling about the loss and how he should be supporting you his parents. It was truly an amazing experience to sit and talk with him and I think he enjoyed the time and the opportunity. He is truly wise beyond his years. We decided together that we should check-in regularly/daily as he found it to be very helpful to just talk. I let him know that he can come to my office anytime during the day if he just needs the quiet time and space to be away from the classroom, his teachers are also aware of this accommodation. In addition, Mathew was very relieved to hear that he does not have to make-up any school work from his absence and that his teachers will have great flexibility regarding his needs. He did mention to me that he will probably find a more long term therapist. If you need any recommendations please let me know. At school, I will be his support for as long as he needs it. Mathew himself is aware that when all the out-of-town family members leave, he may have a difficult time. Rest assured, we are all willing to support him any way we can. I instructed Mathew to send me a quick email if HW or other school work is difficult to do at home at night. Please do let me know if there is anything else I can help with.”
Patricia Burrows, Mathew’s advisor at Harker. “Dear Mathai, Thank you so much for sharing this with me. Laine, Mathew, and your entire family have been in my thoughts. Angelina and I have had a few conversations about this, and last weekend, we bought some flowers to place in our front garden in the memory of Laine and her older sister Mia. The faith and deep spiritual beliefs have been a source of inspiration for me, and has provided me with some tools to talk to my daughter about Laine’s pervading and continuing influence in our lives. The memorial was a beautiful testament to her boundless love and the deep connections she had with her family and greater community. I was moved by everyone who spoke, but especially Mathew. I am in awe of his resolve and resilience in this time of crisis. As I was waiting to speak with you, Anna, and Mathew, he sought me out because he wanted to thank me for coming to the memorial. He even checked in with me to find out if I was going to have some of the food, explaining that these were all things that Laine loved to eat. Even at time when he should be the one comforted and supported, it was so natural for him to be mindful of others. In all, I wanted to share with you that he has been coping remarkably well. He has been meeting with Dr. Gonzales, feeling comfortable seeking her solace when he needs space away. I also check in with him to see how he is doing, but the connection he has with her and the safe and comforting space he has with her is so important.”
The Shivakumar family, parents of Kaushik, Mathew’s classmate. “We were deeply overcome with grief upon hearing about the tragedy in your family. Please accept our utmost heartfelt condolences and we pray that the Almighty provides your family with the strength to pull through this utterly devastating time. We are the parents of Kaushik Shivakumar, who is a good friend of Mathew. Kaushik is preparing a spreadsheet for Mathew of the notes from the classes to help Mathew make a relatively smooth transition back to school. Please do not hesitate to reach out to us if we can help in anyway possible during this very difficult time. With deepest condolences and love, The Shivakumar family”