Mammen Mathai

I am Laine’s granddad, Mathai’s father.

I feel it is unnatural for me, as a granddad, to say a few words at my precious Laine’s memorial service.

I decided to read some parts of a letter the family received from my brother in Australia, who is an Anglican minister.  Laine’s grandmother Molly wrote down some of her thoughts on Laine.  I will read some lines from those pages too.

Letter:  I thought it was appropriate to send you a letter at this time of sorrow.  A gardener does not feel very much when he plucks a rose from his garden.  He may not consider what the branches feel, what the leaves are saying, and may not check whether the roots are hurt.  The gardener only has one thing in mind: he knows pretty well where that rose is going to be.  Trust the analogy is obvious.  If I may add, this time the gardener plucked a very fresh beautiful rose, which just started to show its beauty to people passing by.  To continue the letter, I believe that we are connected together as a family in spirit.  In that spiritual connection, I can visualize the presence of Mia and Laine.  Maybe they are telling us, don’t cry for us.  They are also telling us and reminding us that many wonderful experiences are waiting for them.  Let us celebrate that fact.  The sum of total human life is wonderful and beautiful.  The earthly experience is but a small fraction of that sum total.  I will be saying special prayers.  I am sure that the gardener will come back to wipe our tears.  Love and Prayers.

My darling Laine.  You gave us only 6 ½ years to enjoy your vibrant life.  During that time, you gave so much love to all you met.  You cared for others.  Your sweet phone messages that we received, your calls were mainly to find out how we were doing.  That sweet voice with a special tone will always ring in my ears.  How much joy you gave your mom and dad, and to your brother Mathew.  You were daddy’s girl.  Did he spoil you?  You always adored your brother Mathew.  You appreciated everything he did for you.  I remember you were up on the ladder to put up Christmas lights this past Christmas, and how carefully Mathew was holding the ladder and giving you suggestions.

You always enjoyed helping your mom and Ammachi in the kitchen.  You taught me to use the remote for Tivo.  Vijay your nanny- you had a special love for Vijay.  She really really took care of you and loved you.  You were a princess for Vijay and her whole family.  Kindness was part of your life.  You were full of fun and life.  You always had a joke to tell or a comment to make.

How much you enjoyed art. Your mom supplied you with enough and more art supplies.  The way you welcomes us to your home with those two heart shaped coloring papers with your drawings, signed, ‘Love Laine’.  You kept these on both sides of our bed.  It was a real treat for us also when you came to our room with your sheets and pillow to sleep on the floor next to our bed.

You did say that you heard your granddad snoring.  According to you, only men snored.  You enjoyed fashion, to dress up and pose for a picture.  You were such an organized girl, the way you kept your shoes, sock and jackets.  You had your own calendar to mark events including birthdays.  You gave an excellent impression to all, even those you met for the first time.  Lately you started skiing, skating, ballet and swimming.  I enjoyed watching you.  Sewing had become a hobby to you.  You made outfits for your dolls.

How sweet it was to listen to your songs, starting with the Indian National Anthem to Adel’s Rolling in the Deep.  That too, with these moves.  You had a special way to talk about you daddy to me:  you said “your son” told me.  You were a girl who believed in prayer.  Even the day you started having stomach aches, you called us and asked us to pray.  There is no end to this list.  I know you are in a better place with Mia, with all the other angels in God’s presence.

I miss you my little angel, but you will be in our minds always.